A Russian Doll in China: My Escorting Tips - Part 1
Escorting can be a lonely and dangerous choice of career, especially when you are new, it’s important that you have some guidance and advice from those with experience. So I would like to share some of the tips and good advice which I have learned and received, along my journey as an escort.
Firstly, I want to say that I am not ashamed of my choice of work and you should never be, either. While it’s not a job I would advise to everyone (we are all different), I enjoy what I do for many reasons. I get to meet a lot of interesting clients, many of whom go on to become regulars, and some I would now regard as good friends. I also have the ability to travel and I am in total control of when, where, and how I work. However, let’s not pretend it’s all a bed of roses, anyone escorting, regardless of age or gender, can find themselves in dangerous and risky situations, often vulnerable and unsure of who to trust. It’s essential that you must learn fast and limit the risks and dangers you face.
How I arrived in Hong Kong..
I originally come from the Far East of Russia, but I am now a resident of Hong Kong. I first came to Hong Kong in 2000, I was then a young tourist, visiting this beautiful city with my mom. In our hotel lobby I was fascinated by the pianist who played beautiful jazz music, and during one of my secret smoking trips behind the back of the hotel fountain (where I would hide from my mom), we met and spoke. During this brief meeting we exchanged contact details (at the time yahoo messenger was a popular way to keep in contact), and over the following year we kept in touch, talking almost daily. He would often play the piano over the phone for me and we would talk for hours. I soon found myself falling in love.
Despite being 20 years my senior, I didn’t hesitate to leave my family and homeland when he invited me to come live with him in Hong Kong. Once I arrived, things moved quickly, and soon after that, we married. We endured a long and adventurous relationship, with good times and bad times, and few regrets. He always said that I kept him young, but I believed it was the vibrant and electrifying city of Hong Kong which kept us both full of youth and ambition.
Today, I live in a small fishing village on the edge of Hong Kong. Here you won’t find so many foreigners, it’s home to 40,000 locals, surrounded by the South China Sea. Despite being so close to one of the world’s most modern and thrilling cities, here I am surrounded by nature (a balance I find truly amazing). I live with my dog and love growing my own organic vegetables. I spend a lot of time meditating and doing yoga, and taking care of my body, mind, and soul. I love being closely connected to the natural world, and one of my favourite things is feeding and caring for a pack of wild dogs which live in the forest by my home.
Why do I tell you all of this? I think the first piece of advice I must give is to be yourself and never compromise on who you are and what makes you feel passionate about life. If escorting is a career you choose, don’t let it define who you are, but rather, use it to open up more options and opportunities, and build the life you want.
Always take pride in your hygiene
Regardless of whether you are working as a companion or not, I think you should always take pride in how you look and act. My mom taught me from a young age that hygiene and manners were always free, and I think that philosophy is even more important to follow when your work brings you very up close and intimate with others. For that reason I never accept bookings which don’t allow me enough time to be washed and fully prepared.
While you should always take responsibility for having great hygiene and cleanliness, that also affords you the right to expect the same of others, and you should refuse or cancel bookings where you don’t feel your client is clean or hygienic. When a client doesn't respect their own body it’s very unlikely that they will respect yours.
There are also likely to be times when you find yourself leaving a client without having enough time to clean and shower, or you just don’t feel so minty fresh when exiting their location! So it’s important to also carry a basic hygiene kit with you at all times. For me this includes:
- Feminine wipes
- Hand sanitizer
- Shower gel
- Toothbrush and toothpaste
- Breath mints
- Sun cream
Depending on your personal routine, there may be other must-have items you need, and for most of these items you should be able to find ‘mini’ or travel-sized versions. Carrying such items has saved me from feeling uncomfortable many more times than I can remember.
Know and respect your emotions
While you should never accept a booking when you are not physically prepared, it’s also important to know and respect your mental health, and not take on bookings when you don’t feel mentally ready.
If you are feeling down, tired, or in a bad mood for any reason, I would always recommend to refuse bookings, especially when with someone you don’t know. When you accept a booking you are entering into an unknown situation where you need to be fully alert and always able to keep good and polite manners - as you will occasionally need to diffuse volatile and uncomfortable moments.
Keep a regular skin care routine
We are all fighting aging and in this line of work you will feel even more pressure to stay looking young and desirable. I take great pride in the fact people mistake me for being much younger than I am, and while I said that the city of Hong Kong helps keep me feeling so young, I also have to give a huge amount of credit to keeping a strict and regular skin care routine.
Depending on your skin type, you may have a different set of magic lotions and creams that you feel work best for you, but the important thing is to keep that routine very strict and don’t skip it even when you travel or feel tired (treat it as important as cleaning your teeth before bed, or putting on your shoes before leaving the house).
My personal secret lotion is virgin coconut oil from the Philippines. No matter what time of year, what I am doing, or where I am, I always have some with me and it’s become an important part of my daily hair, nail, and skin care routine, day and night.
Have someone you can share your experiences and feelings with
If you are lucky you already have good friends, or close family who know what you do and are supportive. There are several important benefits of having someone you can talk to about. One of them is having someone know where and when you are working, and having them check up on you during and after a booking. I know many escorts use a ‘buddy system’ where they inform each other when and where their bookings are, and then let each other know when a booking is complete and that they are safe.
Another important reason for having someone you can talk to, is having an outlet and someone who will listen. Escorting can be a very emotional job, you are spending so much time being intimate with others, and while in time you do learn to manage your emotions better, we all suffer from days when we feel more fragile. As an escort you will benefit from having a friend or trusted person who you can talk to if you ever feel low.
If you really don’t have any friends or family who you can talk to about what you do, consider contacting a local support group. I am lucky and have a good personal support network so I don’t have experience with this, but I have heard good things about the Empower Foundation in Thailand, and the Renew Foundation in Philippines. These support networks are there to help support existing escorts, but also to assist those who find themselves wanting to get out of escorting, or for those who are victims of trafficking and forced work.
Resist the temptation of drug and alcohol abuse
Personally, I do not do drugs or abuse alcohol, but I also never judge those who do. However, I have sadly seen many escorts who start as occasional users (usually as a means to work longer hours or to please a good paying client), who soon find themselves using hard drugs daily. The difference between being an occasional drug user and being an addict seems a very delicate line to tread, especially in this type of work, and it seems very easy to lose control of which side of the line you are on.
Escorting is a rare job where you are regularly around alcohol and drugs, and will often find yourself being offered free drugs and excess alcohol. In some situations you will find clients who insist that you take drugs with them, even offering to pay you more if you indulge. It’s very important to resist such temptations.
It’s easy to be tempted to try something once, or break your personal rules and limits when there is a financial gain, but it’s an extremely dangerous game to play. You must build a strong personal code regarding drugs and alcohol, and stick to it, no matter what. We only know our true limits and breaking points once they are passed.
Give a lot of importance to your sleep
Do not underestimate the power and importance of sleep. For me, sleep is one of the keys to keeping mentally positive and stable. As an escort, you are commiting to a lifestyle that predominantly takes place at night and often with very irregular working hours, so that can make it hard to keep healthy sleeping patterns. I think the most important thing is to have a regular sleeping time, whether that be going to bed at midnight, 2am, 5am, even 8am, and making sure you spend at least 7-8 hours sleeping every day. Your body will greatly reward you if you give it regular sleeping time and hours.
Personally I believe it’s best if you can maximise the hours of daylight you can get, for your best mental health. If you find that you need to be working from 10pm until 6am, I would consider adopting the Spanish style of sleeping 5-6 hours, and then having a 2-3 hour siesta sleep before starting work. It’s not something I personally do as I try to not work so late at night, but for me, sleeping 7am to midday, and again 6pm to 9pm, is better than sleeping 6am through to mid afternoon, and seeing very little sunlight.
Important! Sleep should always mean sleep. Laying in bed looking at your phone is not rest, it’s anti-rest. When it’s time to sleep, and you get in bed, stop looking at your phone, and set it to silent so that your sleep is not disrupted. One excellent peace of health advice I was given was to not even look at your phone an hour before you sleep and an hour after you wake up. Wow, that is not easy to do, but I have personally started to adopt a policy of not looking at my phone 20 minutes before and after I sleep, and I will never look at my phone while in bed, unless it’s an important message or to check the time.
Always negotiate a minimum amount of sleep before accepting an overnight booking
Talking about sleep: if you receive a request for an overnight booking, it’s important to discuss and negotiate a time/amount to sleep in advance. Even if you feel you can take the booking without needing sleep, it’s important to figure out whether this is a booking where the client has activity planned for the entire night, or whether you will enjoy an evening and then sleep together - these are two very different bookings and it’s important to know what you are accepting.
Personally, when receiving a booking for all-night, I always request that we get to sleep at least 4 hours during the booking time, and I very rarely consider an all-night booking unless we agree on a fair period of sleep to be included.
I hope these tips are helpful and I would like to bring you more in the coming months. Stay safe!